they need to just BURY HIM!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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