so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
