i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize