worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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