did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well you can't waste a boner
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
