I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
