On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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