Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
