all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Vodka?
Forever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
