In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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