do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
