that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
