I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize