wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
