i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
