Your tits are I can't wait for
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
