The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
