Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
