office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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