slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
