I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My cat gives me a boner
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
