we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
