Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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