I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
