people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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