Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
