All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
