onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
