Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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