youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
