omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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