Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
