First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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