She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
