My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
