Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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