It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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