he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
