yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
