oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
