jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
