All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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