oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My liver just had a heart attack.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
