I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I still have a little drunk in my system
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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