dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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