So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
