i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
