He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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