He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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