.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
