You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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