It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You need a sexual gate keeper
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
