Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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