he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I came so hard my ears popped.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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