my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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