Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
