..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
