dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
