1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize