Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
