Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
