just tell him i said nine months
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
