i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
