and i looked up. we had an audience...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
