went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
