he thought i was a dude.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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