so that wasnt chicken after all
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
